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social-climber bitch [March 03, 2008 @ 10:34am] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | go on girl - neyo ] I don’t want to be someone that I’m not but sometimes I just can’t help it. I don’t want to be me either because being me is not I want to be.   Who wants to be me? Ha! You can call me social-climber bitch, I admit it! But rather than spending my whole life as a looser I’d rather be called a social-climber bitch. Come on, who would want to stay at the caf forever during their break time, who would want to be alone during break time? No one! Except for me I do it all the time, that’s why I hate it. I hate my fucked up life.   Alcohol, smoke, weed, and drugs name it, these are the things I’ve always want to try. I’m done with smoking and alcohol. I’m just a social smoker and I’m not addicted to it. The only thing I haven’t done is smoking weed and drugs. A friend actually gave me a weed, but I refused even I wanted to. Not yet. Not right now. It’s not the right time for me Comment

reminiscing my dream...... [December 14, 2007 @ 10:23pm] Wala lng I just find it funny to remember every single event in my dream and ironic in way that the person I hated in the real world is the one I liked in my dream. I don’t really really hate him that much, un umpisa lna ang taray niya kc tpos lalaki pa xa inirapan niya kasi ako.   So about my dream, a group of people about 20 were in a big room, more like a function room but there’s nothing in there; no tables, no chairs etc. just us. The room is carpeted so we could sit on the floor. It was a bit gloomy. We had a yellow light just like the lampshade.   We were trapped there and were watching something seems like a play. But the stage is not an ordinary stage we see in the auditorium, it’s like an alley where a couple of gangster was talking about something. They are the scariest people I’ve ever seen; one of them was wearing a very low short, you can actually see his ‘thing’. Then they called my friend to join the play and next thing I know she’s already with them. I saw her face, she is really scared. They were joking around her; I suddenly thought that something is wrong. We weren’t watching a play at all. My friend was now surrounded by the-so-called-actors, there were 7 of them. I ran for help but having a second thought if what I was really watching is play or not. I still ran then I saw the sda building it was crowded; the people around me are escaping from the building.   I knew it we weren’t watching a play, it was a trapped, a gang rape. I tried to save my friend but I can’t get in, I kept on falling. It seem like I was climbing a wall with no rope or anything. I was crying out loud and I was shouting her name. I can’t do anything I feel so useless because I wasn’t able to find someone to help her.   Then i was back in the room. I was holding a cup of tea, still crying and blaming myself for what had happened to my friend. A man came and sat next to me.   “It was good” he said   I looked at him like I’m gonna eat him alive but his expression didn’t seems to change he was happy. My hands were shaking hard, I wanted to grab him and kill him. But before I could do that he grabbed my hand and told me that we need to talk. Ironically, at that time I felt warm and comfort, seems like I want his arms to give me a hug and his shoulder to cry on. I took my hands away from him but again he grabbed it and he looked into my eyes. At first I didn’t want him to release me because once again I felt his hands warm and it stopped me from shaking, but i took my hands away from him and ran.   I was now in my friend’s room, she was crying. Someone is already there to comfort her. I sat beside her and tried to comfort her too. She didn’t say anything, she just stared at me I felt guilty, it was all fault.   I told her not to worry I know the person who did it and we’ll get revenge. Then the girl beside me started to give out names but I wasn’t listening. I was thinking of him, the man who talked to me… I like him and didn’t want him to get involve…..   And then I woke up…….   Comment

oh no! im getting fat! [December 09, 2007 @ 10:44pm] it's true! mataba na ko tumaba pa oh no!! i should stop eating na! huhuhu.. but i cant, i super LOVE to eat. wahhh!!! i already gained 5 pounds, a fucking FIVE pounds, do you know how much work out i should do to burn that FIVE pounds out of my body? WORK OUT TO GRABE! i think i should start dancing again, hmmm then dont eat RICE i'll start tom. and let's see what will happen. hay sa by nxt year mga 90 pounds n lng ako hahaha Comment

hoi feeler!... yes you! [November 06, 2007 @ 7:15am] dont hesitate to read! let's just call him Mr. feeler aka FEELER . in short feeler talaga siya. i hate your guts, i hate your smile and i hate YOU! you're such fckng ass feeler! you think you know everything but the truth is you dont know a thing, i bet you cant even answer 1+1 (that's kinda harsh) ok, so i dont really hate you, hate you. i just dont like you.  haha ang gulo e noh. basta. hmm actually the more i hate the more i want to be with that person, because i want that person to fall on my bait and let his instinct eat him little by little unti he cant move nor breath. ..to be continued Comment

random thoughts [October 31, 2007 @ 12:53pm] haay wala lng, naisip ko lang mag blog habang naghihintay matapos mag load un pinpanuod ko, nakakainis nkakabitin kasi ang tagal mag load. haaay.. -- kapag umiinom ba ibig sabihin ba nun malaki problema mo? hindi naman diba?? haay nakakairita, parang ang big deal kapag uminom ako. nung saturday kc nag punta ako sa bahay ni Jen kasama cla bea, jj , lenie and joma wala lang tumambay (na miss ko sila sobra) xempre mawawala ba un inuman? kumakain pa nga lng ng dinner inom na eh haha. so ayun shit first tim ko uminom ng tuquila, naka 3 shots ata ako but i'm still alive as in kahit nung sinundo na ko na mom ko parang wala lang pro natulog ako agad. ganun kc talaga ako pag nakakainum, tulog agad pag tapos haha. hindi ko nga alam kung bakit hindi ako nalasing eh. as in before pa kami nag tequila naka inum na ko ng ice tea na may vodka, un nga un tubig ko eh. sabi pa nga nila sakin wag na ko uminom pro uminom parin ako haha.. siguro kung nag overnight ako nakarami ako ng inum ang sarap kc. paminsan minsan kasi masarap din uminom kelangan din ng init sa katawan (hmm wag madumi ang isip) wahaha.. alchoholic na ata ako e dati ang bilis ko talaga malsaing, ngayon mejo hindi na. tapos ayun nung sunday pinagalitan ako ng mom ko at ang nagmamagaling kong kapatid! nakakairita! hello hindi naman ako umiinom dahil may problema ako eh for fun lang, kahit paminsan minsan. Comment

my BIOTCHY day [October 24, 2007 @ 7:48pm] [ mood | bitchy ] [ music | sorry blame it on me - AKON ] Haay.. nakakahiya naman tong pinag gagawa ko.   After oralcom class, i had my usual routine primping and prettifying in the c.r with my biatchy friends Biglang  napag usapan c.. xa, I think her name is kaye dela *something.. anyway it doesn’t matter what her name is. The point is I was just saying that I don’t like the way she speak, she speaks like ‘my sister was like blah blah blah and I was like blah blah’ .  and then baaaam* nandun pala xa sa c.r haha natanga ako. Umalis naman siya agad but im SURE alam niya na siya un pinag uusapan naming, lanataran ba naman un name.. so ayun I was actually ashamed to see her again so I dragged them with me but when they saw her they or rather WE ran away. Unfortunate adventure? Yes but FUN!! Ha?!?! After nun nag sit-in siya sa bmat class ko with Gino. Nagparinig, pro deadma lng. then sa caf. all her friends are looking at us, maganda kc kami e haha..  If I were her, hindi muna ako lalabas ng cubicle or kng lumabas ma ako aasaran ko pa cla as in, mag smile ako sa kanila or hugas ako ng kamay, deadma lng dba?! I mean it’s no big!  Nkaka guilty? Yes. but what can I do? Mag sorry?? Hmmm Im really not that kind of person. You can actually compare me to doamingsu haha but im not as rude as him. Mas rude xa!! Aahha.  Ma pride kasi talaga and I really can’t help it. Plus she’s already bitching me around so patas na dba??  And what’s the point of saying sorry? What can my sorry do?? What is done is done (may sense ba??) im so biiatch!!! Well actually im born to be biatch!! masama nanama ako! lagi naman e.. angyari na rin to dati pero nag sorry ako kc friend ko siya. hindi naman backstab, nakalimutan ko na kung ano sinabi ko, basta hindi xa backstab na hurt lng siya sa sinabi ko. nag sorry ako kc friend ko siya as in childhood friend ayoko naman masara sa ganun lang.   Minsan nga naisip ko kng mapride ba talaga ako o nahihiya lang ako. Or maybe ashamed and scared on what they’re going to think of me. but I keep on telling myself, ‘who cares on what you say, that’s only your opinion. Only me who knows me best’   LESSON LEARNED: WAG MAG CHIKAHAN SA CR!! Comment

tired of my life [October 21, 2007 @ 9:47pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | this is why im hot ] im tired of crying, too tired of getting hurt and being hurt by the people around me. i wanna be happy... all i can say is ' my heart is bleeding and i want to stop breathing' my throat soars my head hurts i want to burst out of anger but i can't... i just can't i want to cry but my eyes is already dry im angry.... about everything can alcohol help me? im getting sleepy... still feeling angry.. pissed... im in pain.. can someone help me? i want to take a bus that will take to god-knows-where. maybe, a place where i can be god so i can change everything and be happy with my life.. i  need love.. but i dont know what love is, Comment

looking back in time.. [October 17, 2007 @ 10:28pm]   lately i've been thinking about my life. What my life really is? Am I gifted or what? many question formed in my mind, some were answered some were not My parents was once the happiest couple in the world having a good business and healthy childrens (me and my brother). My dad owns a clothing company. And on the kids section my brother and some of cousins were the models, but i wasnt there. i thought i was just too little or too young to joing or rather too shy. But i guess im wrong, i wasnt too young, maybe i was shy, but the thing is i wasnt there because im different. I used to believe what my mom says, but as i grew up i realize that some were just white lies. But that's ok I dont give a damn anyway. As time goes by, -crap! to be cont... my mood is gone Comment

i don't hate you...... [October 13, 2007 @ 12:03pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | mymp ] Someone is hating me (not HER haha hate ko rin naman xa) It bugs me to think that you think that I hate you. I don’t know why I like you, I just like you. Maybe, because you have care for me? Haha I don’t know. All I can say is that I really don’t want you to hate me. If my friends hate you it doesn’t mean I also hate you. It hurts me to think about you. wag mo na ko iwasan pls. i really want to be with you. i miss your hug and i miss you. i dont know how i'm going to show you that i dont hate you. god, my heart aches for you. damn it!!! if only i can show how much i like you..... Stop hating me because I don’t hate you, in fact I like you A LOT. Comment

philom finals [October 10, 2007 @ 10:48pm] Lorraine See 1. Man and the World I live to exist. I exist to explore. I explore to live. Why am I here on earth? Where did I come from? What am I worth? Do I have any intrinsic value? Do I serve a purpose? These are all fundamental questions. They are life's "big questions." How we answer these questions determines how we see the world and how we treat the world. Because we are a part of the world, how we see the world also determines how we see so, it's important that we resolve these fundamental questions. And it's important that we discover the honest truth. Before I was nothing, until someone made me, but I am still nothing. I’m just a body, a dumb baby who was forced to be born and to live. As time past, a dumb that was nothing is now something that can now choose to live or not. This doesn’t mean I didn’t existed before, I mean maybe I already existed before I just I didn’t know I did (who knows?). I believe in reincarnation. When we die, we go in another dimension, maybe in another world and another body to change or to have a new life. And I believe that I’m here to change or to do something I haven’t done before. I am ‘here’ because I am not ‘there’. If I am there I’m just simply obtaining ‘there’ that will again look better that ‘here’ but why do I have to be here? There must be some serious reason or mission that needs to be accomplished to be here in this world. Sometimes I asked myself if I’ am real or am I just a baby dreaming my life or where am I? All I know is that I’m here in the world which we call Earth. I believe that this world already existed even before God. To be in this world means to live a life. Sometimes I think of my past and ask myself, did I really exist in the past? If so, what am I or who am I? Is it possible to remember the me in the past? Or am I just really nothing in the past? But if I’m going to spend my time brooding over my past, then I may not be living in my present because it keeps me away from living now since I only think of my past. I have heard it said that "the unexamined life is not worth living." I wonder: how is it possible to examine one's own life? The first problem I come on when trying to examine my own life is that I am unable to objectively examine my own life. I find it impossible to look at my own life without having some bias in my own favour, which makes it very difficult for me to know whether I am examining my life or simply patting myself on the back. The other part of examining my own life that gives me a great deal of difficulty knowing where exactly to begin. Shall I focus mainly on my beliefs? My habits? My tastes and preferences? And, finally, what does it all mean? But then I guess instead of spending my like thinking about what I haven’t done in the past, I’ll just spend my life thinking what I can do for the future that can be used by the next people after me. I know that I am standing in this world, breathing and taking every suffering I had to take, because I can feel myself and I think. If I didn’t exist before, I don’t care because I exist now. The past is the past and what important is the present and the future. If before my nothingness didn’t even matter, it is because I am nothing. Can someone who exists think of nothing? If I think of nothing, what should I be thinking? How can a person think of nothing if they don’t know what is nothing? And if I were to imagine if everything is nothing, then one simple answer if I think of nothing then there is only black and darkness, totally nothing. 2. Man and God Is God real? Surprisingly, this fundamental question is simplistic in nature. It is solved by asking another question, "Where did everything come from?" Where did space, time, matter, energy and information come from? If God doesn't exist, that means that life must have come about through some natural impersonal, unintelligent, and ultimately purposeless process. That means we're ultimately as purposeless as the very process which brought us into existence. Life's just an accident. I can find short term reasons for living like I’m here because my parents wanted to have children, etc., but ultimately I’m just an accident and so are my parents. Life is one big accident. I serve no purpose, I cause no lasting effect, and in the grand scheme of things my life is utterly meaningless. Without a Creator in the beginning, there was nobody around to put me here on purpose which means I aren't here for a reason. It's that simple. I grew up in a society that believes in God, so I can’t help but to also be one of them. And since I am Catholic, the God I know is Jesus Christ. But sometimes I just can’t understand the reason why he died in the cross, well maybe because of his philosophy and his teachings. But some say that he died because of OUR sin. Why OUR sin? I still can’t understand the reason, even how much they explain it to me. Maybe it becomes OUR sin because we were reincarnated or something like that (in some way I do believe in reincarnation) some even say that our sufferings is not enough compare to HIS sufferings. So does it mean that we need to suffer because he suffered for us? I wasn’t even born (maybe I was, but I’m now innocent) when he was alive or neither chooses to be his followers. I’m still confused at everything. Many questions are confusing me. Like, if God made us, then who made him? Or why is he God, why not me? I Many questions but no one really knows the answer and there is no definite answer, it’s always she said, he said and they said. Can someone really answer our non ceasing query? Some people are even going gaga over God, because when problem strikes them, they utter the most hoodwink words I have ever heard “bahala na ang diyos” and do nothing about their problem. They even spend more time on praying than to work on with their problems. I mean what the hell, why do they have to utter those words? They are just stressing and fooling their selves. They asked for so many blessings, why don’t they work for it? What I have right now is all because of my family, they worked so hard to achieve whatever we have right now. I don’t believe it’s a blessing in disguise because if it is, then God is very unfair. There are so many people in this world are suffering from hunger, why don’t he give them just a little bit more blessings. I’m sure they are more faithful than me. He gave me so much blessing and didn’t give some for the others. I don’t really have against Christianity; I just find it irritating to hear damn reasons. In fact I have my own bitter experience with God. When I had my retreat way back in high school days, my mind and heart is with God. The priest is a very good speaker because he made me realize and thought me about God’s existence. I tried to be faithful and to change myself to a better person. I wanted to help everyone around me, even to the point giving my whole life and be devoted to God. I even had a ritual, like praying every night and/or every time I woke up because I wanted to take him for giving me another life with my love ones. Because only in prayer I can connect with God, but sometimes I can’t help to ask myself how can God here me if I only pray in my mind? And how can he hear all prayers at the same time? Does prayer really connects me with God or am I just fooling myself believing that God can here me thanking him for everything or pleading for his help and guidance. One day I just woke up not feeling well and I don’t feel myself anymore, I just don’t feel like myself. And someone even told me that I have been a very bitchy girl ever since I came to that retreat. I know to my very self that I have change. That time it feels like what I have done is now going to trash. Everything is useless. I hated God because it feels like he is pushing me away, it maybe a trial for me but I don’t care, he already ruined our relationship. I even said to myself ‘if he hates me, then I hate him’ But of course I didn’t end it up just like that. I still believe in him (maybe a little) but not as much as before. Because sometimes my lost of faith to him scares me. When I watched the movie ‘the exorcism of Emily Rose’, I got so paranoid. I’m insane and I’m like a crazy girl, I can’t even sleep. I’m afraid of everything, it might also happen to me because I don’t have faith in God and I hated him. Yeah, I know I’m a dumb person for believing something like that but I can’t blame myself. I just keep telling myself that God is so great; he will not let something happen to me. But it happened to Emily Rose, then it might happen to me too? Actually I think she is just really sick, I mean in the movie, they explained it through science and through God. So which is which? The world of science or the world of God? I believe both. Come to think of it if he is so great and powerful, why did he let it happen to her just to make people realize that HE really exists? Why did he use her? He is one crazy God. God, they say he is perfect, he is powerful and he made everything. Really? If that so, who made him? Is he just like magic that came out in just one *poof*? So it’s like we exist because God exists. Why don’t we put it this way, God exists because we exist? Just like the idea of Rene Descartes, I think therefore I exist. Whatever we see, touch and feel is what we know that really exist. It is true that no one can really prove as in PROVE everything that God exists since nobody have seen him. Nobody knows if he is a real human or if he is a guy or a girl. A friend once argued to me about God, I was like asking her if God is gay. She said God has no gender, because if he is a male or female, it will be bias. That strikes me, but Jesus Christ is a guy, which I believe to be our God, so how can be God genderless. I’m really not a believer of God or an atheist; I’m more like a half believer of God. Some of my conclusions don’t believe in God and some does. It’s really confusing. Like there is evil because there is good. Everything in this world has opposites, if there’s a girl then there’s a boy, if there is God then there is Satan just like good and evil. Therefore in that statement I conclude that God really exist. But if he really exists why can’t we see him? Sometimes I asked myself, why is God, God? Why not me? Because if I were God I will change things that he made or better yet make everything perfect. God Is perfect and he knows everything. I guess God has a point for not making a perfect world. If everything is perfect, then everyone can be God. Wait, if that so, then God is selfish because he wants to be the only God in this world so he made us imperfect. Maybe he’s point is he wants to make thinks proportion. Actually if everybody is perfect, nobody will work. Come to think of it, what will the world looks like if it’s perfect? If I were in a perfect world I would probably be laying on my bed the whole day or until I die. Because if I am perfect and everything around is perfect, then I don’t have to go to school neither go to work. Because I don’t have to do anything since everything around me is already perfect. And if the world is imperfect, then we have to work to make imperfect, perfect. Ironically, we tend to change imperfect to perfect even though in reality no one can be perfect as God. 3. Man encountering himself I am me. I am my body. I am myself There is no one in this world is exactly like me. I am unique. Some of my features might be same with the others but I am still me, and no one is like me. The body that I use is mine. Everything that I can feel through me is mine. I own everything about me- my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all my thoughts and feelings; my feelings, whatever they might be- anger, joy. Love, disappointment; all my actions- whether they be to others or me. We, you and me and everyone alive right now will not exist long before all existence ends, that is if it ever does. The meaning of life is to build up as comfortable of an existence as possible and continue to live grow and evolve. If we can manage to not wipe all life off the face of the earth, or destroy ourselves, I see no reason why our evolution wouldn't continue. Evolution requires necessity, so as long as we stay comfortable without the need to improve in a great way, perhaps some other animals will catch up with us given enough time. Consciousness plays a major part in my self-fulfillment. One can only be fulfilled when he do things he want or need. Self consciousness and realty are one. The key is to understand how to merge them. Why do I have to be conscious? Because when I am conscious it means that I am thinking, I am aware of what is going on in my life. I exist. I am a soul that is stuck on a given body. The stone, the chair, the table and the ballpen is not me since these things are only the extension of me. These things can be lost but I can never lose my self possession. Hence these things are not me. Comment

hate me? fuck you!! [October 06, 2007 @ 3:15pm] [ mood | angry ] [ music | big girls dont cry ] You think I’m a bitch?? True!! I’m a bitch, and so are you, SO ARE YOU!! Pataasan ba ng pride?? Cge game ako! Comment

SHUT UP!!!! [January 14, 2007 @ 8:26pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | Sexy back (remix) ] stop calling me lori! You dont have a FCKING RIGHT to change my name!!so stop it ok!! my name is LORRAINE not LORI!! i hate the name lori! call me lori again and you all gonna die! whats with the name?? i so hate it.. why do you have to change my name? you suck!! you know that?!?! YOU SUCK!!!!! we're not BFF or something close to that, i dont even care if you die today! i just know you by ur SUCKY name! so yeah, ok, we talked for a while but after that, DAMN!! ur a bitch! *P.S. to all my GOOD BUDDIES (you know who you are) you know i love you, so you can call me lori.. :) but for the bitches of all bitches you dont have a right!! its my name not yours!! Read (2) Comment

my own.. [January 13, 2007 @ 6:59pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | I'll be there - DBSG ] I want to have things i can call mine! I want to have my own rum, my own clothes, my own pc. Im 18, im geting oldr not geting younger. Duh! In few months my existence in this wrld is already 19 yrs. And it fils like im a still a baby, which is I'm not! I'm not gonna grow mentaly if im goin 2 sleep in my mom's rum til i get maried? Ok that's a lil bit exagget.. My point is i wnt my own crib 2 chil out whenever i fil like being sntimental. I wnt to sleep alone. Bcuz ryt nw im scared 2 sleep in my rum. My rum ryt nw is in the very top floor of this house. The scenery is nice though you cn only those tall buildngs of manila nd ruftop of my neighbors. My rum is very empty, ders a comfy bed, a dreser and old stuf plus junks! A cofee table used to stay in my rum but the table got bored and ran away. so now i want to have a new room. There is two empty rooms in the middle floor of this house; the sort of like laundry room and the other one is my lola's rum.. God already took her and nw its empty. It sort of like my dresing rum evrsince. I was depresingly thinking to mke it my room. So i gather all my courage and asked my mom about it, she said no its bad feng shui! Wats with pamahiin nd feng shui? Why do dey hve 2 blive in those words? So i hve 2 wait 4 like many yrs. 2 get my curent rum 2 renovte so i cn my own? It suks! I realy realy want 2 have my own crib! Comment

my long journey [January 12, 2007 @ 1:31pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | goodbye my lover - james blunt ] im bored to death and home alone again! so here i am again writting my so-called-boring-life 11'25'06 midtown girls get together @ Basement, the fort 12'01'06 Bea's B-day @ g4 12'07'06 should i put this sad date? its so sad and scary.. it feels like a dream but i know realize its a reality i just have to accept it. 12'22'06 Val's 18th bday!! 12'23'06 Lennie's Bday - Embassy, Libis weeheee.... libis party!! and Shisha party shhhhhh secret lng christmas break bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored..... i have lots of money so time to shop like crazy shopper still bored nothing to do just watched TV the whole day *too lazy too put more details 01'08'07 back to school!! so far i love all my profs. RECONSE 'best friend Johny' is what most students call him so far he's nice and i heard wala xang kwenta so yeah ok na ok lol FILIP she speaks like she's singin a lulluby song........ nakakaantok sobra... PHILOMA omg! i will never ever be absent to this class Altonaga is hot! lol i cannot believe i have an eye for him lol plus i think im liking his crazy mind. FREEHAND scary cuz i dont know how to draw.. that reminds me i have to do my h.w. i have to do draw myself how am i suppose to do that?!?! P.E yey i love pe na! why? nandun c roco!! whhahaha he's so gwapo nyahahaha HARTDS wla absent prof!!! pero scary ng mga kablock ko.. mga rocker na ewan!! BMAT my gay prof!! nyahha i like him.. now im bored.. im alone.. im hungry.. lol i found this really funny quote, it so like me lol 'the only reason i sleep a lot in class is because you're always in my dreams.' i've been addited to this song... its so nice...pang sawi pero hdi ako sawi mejo lng lol goodbye my lover - James blunt Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? 'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun, Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won. So I took what's mine by eternal right. Took your soul out into the night. It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care. You touched my heart you touched my soul. You changed my life and all my goals. And love is blind and that I knew when, My heart was blinded by you. I've kissed your lips and held your head. Shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I am a dreamer but when I wake, You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd be the father of your child. I'd spend a lifetime with you. I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine, And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. And I still hold your hand in mine. In mine when I'm asleep. And I will bare my soul in time, When I'm kneeling at your feet. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow Comment

is it firiday the 13th? [October 10, 2006 @ 11:59am] [ mood | hyper ] This day is the worst day in my life but when i think of it I kept on laughing.. Anyway, the sky is crying out loud when i arrived at school. I have no choice but to run as fast as I can because if I don’t i'll be late or absent to my class and i cant afford to be absent since i already have one absent. So yeah i ran.... and while running in the middle of the street, my slipper slip off... WWHAAHAAA that's so embarrassing!!! I bet the peepz around me would like to laugh out loud in my dumbness hahaha.. And yeah im soaking wet. luckily I’m not the only one who is wet in the class ahaha... the funny thing is i kept on laughing everytime i think of it.. ------------- Comment

aAaAaRrRrR.... [August 21, 2006 @ 12:19am] [ mood | cranky ] bakit ganun? ang manhid ng mga tao?? ang dami kasing kangaroo sa mundo!! ayw m n nga siyang kausapin papasin pa rin papasin k ayaw k nmang kausapin.. ang shit ng buhay noh!!?! ---- prang ung isang ka-block ko c DJ, yeah im exposing her name b'cuz i really hate her!!! she's a pain in the ass.. why? > last wed. maron kami linggo ng wika.. bsta their first plan was to play harmonika but they changed it.. tong nag mamagaling na DJ sbi nia kakanta n lng.. so ok lng bsta d ako ksma tas bgla n lng pnalitan na i have to sing dw tlgang on the spot.. no practice no rehearsal.. so i told her na cla n muna mauna so we could practice pa but ayw nia gs2 nia kmi!! sbgay she had a solo and her voice is vert OMG!!! > she's a selfish bitch!! ka group k na nmn xa gepsych nmn.. bsta hinatihati nia un research tas in the end pinagpalit-palit nia so i have to research again WTH db?? kala k nmn may mas mganda xang balak so pumayag ako pro WTH again mas brilliant pa un mind ko as in sobra!! bsta mgkagrade xa tpos wala n xa pake sa iba!! oh and she almost stole my report.. ha!?! pnaghirapn k un report ko noh!! as in naging OC na ko tas nanakawin lng nia f*ck her!! ----- enough of her she's really pissing me i want to by alot of things kso ala na ko money huhuh my wish list > guitar wala lng prang feel ko lng matuto > ipod > t-shirts yeah ubos n damit ko ala n ko masuot > bayo jacket un lng ahaha --- Comment

alone? [August 07, 2006 @ 1:00pm] [ mood | disappointed ] have you picture yourself in the dark? you can't see anything, you can't move, and worst is you can't breath. what are you going to do? are you gonna just sit there and wait for someone to open the light? or you're gonna look, eventhough you cant see anything and eventhough its hard, for a person who will open the light for you? ---- life is short and its hard to struggle w/ if you're dealing w/ the wrong person they say they care, but the truth is they don't... they just say it.. you know it's what they call, WHITE LIES so live your life w/ white lies!! ahaha * i wish that someday i can find a person who will open the light for.. and get me out of the room of "white lies" and i hope that, that person will never leave me in another dark room... i am willing to do anything to find that person, kahit e-kamatay ko pa..... atleast, i know that someone will care for me if i die.. * im not seeking attention or what but its just what i feel... Comment

[August 04, 2006 @ 12:23pm] [ mood | quixotic ] [ music | canon ] * i had free lunch today!! yeeehhhppeeeee.... b'cuz it's Endz B-day, though i went 100+php for his cake ahaha so we ate at YellowCab w/ my other blockmates... And THEY sang happy b-day in chi. that time i wish i wasn't a chinese, though i dont look like one.. but i jsut find too EEEWWWWEEEEWWWWWW... sorry guys, but it's really EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...... Nevertheless, i was happy to be w/ them again, b'cuz all this time i'm always w/ ela, its like we're bestfriends but we're not... But now a days i spent my time w/ joma na,, and im happy w/ it b'cuz i know she's a true friend not like the others.. (touch nmn xa) hahaha * so after that, we went back to CSB and everybody has gone to their own way. as for me, i met joma at lrc and then we watched MTV Pilipinas, oh and i saw Mark Abaya... and OMG everyone is going gaga over him.. i dont find him gwapo.. but i took some of his pics aahahaha.. i'll upload it if i got time... and thed, Sugarfree and imago sang. it's so bitin nga lng... sayang nga walang spongecola... Oh and before i forget, Mark Abay is very cruel hahaha "do you like bamboo" ha asked then everyone was like.. WOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOO!!!!! "spongecola" "woooohhoo" "CUSHE" "ahem ahem ahem" and then he laugh hahaha how funny... * how shity life is!! i wasnt able to watch remix agian for the 2nd time... fuck!! my mom didnt allow me kc nga nmn i have to be a YAYA at night!!! f*ck tlaga!!! sayang nmn un 100php but luckily i was able to sell it ahaha... anyway,my insan is sick so i have to do everything in the house!!! wash the dishes, feed my lola, clean this and that.. and the worst is to change my LOLA'S DIAPER!!!! tama ba un?? my cousin used to do all the work exept ako tlaga nag papakain sa lola ko.. but now doing all this stuff?? i dont think i can do it specially to change her diaper its so eewwww... OMG d nmn ako nag aral ng MMA to do all that!! as for her ok lng cuz she's a MedTech student so ok lng!!! but me its so eeeeWwww... luckily my bro. is here to help me!!! xa na palit nurse nmn xa eh... for me, i'll never gonna do that kahit lola k p xa its so ewwwww noh!?! and lastlyang pinka inisan ko is my mom, alam nmn niang alang wanapo and may sakit c rio, my insan, tpos wla pa xa.. sana nmn she was there to help me a little.. e hindi e nagpabigat pa xa!! so suck tlga!!! --> she's one of the reason why my middle name become DITCHER!! or should i make it my first name?? anyway it realy suckz!! b'cuz they call that way... pro n lng dw c julie reason ko!! eh ano magagawa ko!?! palit kya tyo ng nanay noh!?! Comment

no class or WHAT?!?!?!?! [August 02, 2006 @ 12:04pm] [ mood | cheerful ] i dont have any class today... why??? b'cuz Mr. Pirate is absent.. what happened to your black pearl?? NATSCA suckz!!! he's always absent.. kundi late, absent,, WTH!?!!?! nagbyad kmi pra mag aral!! he suckz!! wla p xang msyado tinuturo... imagine, we only have 2-3 plates while the others have like 10 plates.. what kind of teacher is he?!? super bulok armf!!! then we dont have P.E class.. weehheeee!!! so yeah wla tlga ako class.. I stayed for while, i already forgot why.... naki seat-inmuna ko kela joma hahaha... and then i think we watch this lucifer thingy well, about lucifer... it suckz, its so un-pro.. i dont know if its just me or what but i cant understand what they're talking about.. first, i cant their voice its to soft... i didn't understand wth they're talking about and OMG i spent my 80php for nothing,though its ORDEV accredited... but ofcourse, if you're goin to make a play you sould make your audience enjoy it. for them to watch w/ reason d lng dahil sa ORDEV dapat na eenjoy din ng nanunuod... well, till here Comment

[July 21, 2006 @ 5:49pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | neo- girlfriiend ] 2 beses ako nag cut ngayon hehehe first is BIBSTUD cuz i find him too boring na and 2nd is POLIGOV i want to boycot him for reall!!!! wahahaha im sooo bad, being in college is ubber cool hehehe --- i saw Josh somewhere in CSB duh!! -_- and i was like 0_0 omg-its-josh..'hi..josh' hahaha i was so shocked!!! then he talked to me.. blah blah blah... i even called him Mr. Vibal hahaha and he said he's going to fail me if i say it again hahaha... i wonder why he doesnt want to be called Mr or sir. anyway, i didnt waved goodbye to him,.. and i felt sad huhuhu no actually nahihiya ako.. kc sbi ni joma lumigon dw xa eh hehehe sorry josh!!! parang ang snob ko 2loy huuhuhu... i like him panaman kc he's uber CoOL harhar!! well that's all hahaha.... im too lazy again!!! Comment

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